I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
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Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
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I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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