I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize