I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize