i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize