HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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