I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize