now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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