Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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