I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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