someone get that fucking seahorse.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Randomize