u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize