eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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