I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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