If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
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