I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize