No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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