and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
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If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
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How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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