i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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