wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
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My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
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Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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