if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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