Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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