I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize