she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
i think my cat just said my name.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize