just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
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