I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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