god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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