My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize