Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
i was born a porn star she said
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize