so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize