I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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