They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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