why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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