I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize