Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize