The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize