I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize