I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize