You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize