In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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