What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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