Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
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