haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
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