Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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