Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
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