So drunk its hurt
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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