all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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