I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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