The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize