Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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