Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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